Meeting your greet expectations

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When it comes to introductions, knowing whos who is really the name of the game

SIDEBAR: Now, I’d like to introduce… (see end of text)

You know what they say about a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. That’s likely what’s at play when it comes to some people’s reticence in introducing others in professional settings. You know, like at business lunches or association meetings or your employer’s various meetings and events.

We know there is some protocol involved – the details of which may be murky. Or we know we know a certain person, but that name or affiliation escapes us.

Like it or not, though, we are called on to make such introductions, some planned, others out of the blue – say, introducing your boss to a potential client, a new employee to a department head, your mom to a colleague you bump into at The Home Depot.

So it is worth the small effort to learn the right way. Making introductions is “one of those gracious niceties that grease the wheels in getting business done,” says Barbara Pachter, a communications consultant in Cherry Hill, N.J., and author of “New Rules @ Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead” (Prentice Hall, $13.95).

Plus, it contributes to your own “impression management,” says Duffy Spencer, a social psychologist and management coach in Westbury. People are grateful when others introduce them or others, even if it’s not done with perfect, Emily Post precision.

The beautiful thing is that so many others are a little vague on the protocol and may not notice any minor faux pas. But they do notice if you ungraciously leave them standing there feeling uncomfortable.

Here is advice addressing some of the basics:

Whose name first? In some ways, this is simple. You mention the name of the more important or more senior person first, as in, “Mr. Big Client, I would like you to meet my colleague, Sam.”

It’s great when that pecking order is clear-cut. But, there are plenty of times when it’s not. Pachter says that in all probability, you would give a client or potential client precedence over your boss. But that depends on your boss, doesn’t it? Is he or she an egomaniac in need of constant strokes? In that case you might say, “Boss, I would like you to meet Ms. Big Client.”

Don’t get obsessed, though, with analyzing the parties’ stature. If you have to make a split-second decision, give precedence to the person you want to flatter more, she says.

What else to say? Give each a sense of who the other is. And don’t get hung up on exact titles. Pachter says we can get away with saying that Martha Rodriquez heads up the company’s marketing department instead of rattling off a title like senior vice president/director of North American blah blah.

You might also tell Martha that Jim Smith, here, a friend from college, is an executive recruiter and might have some thoughts on staffing that new project she just announced. Or you might point out similar interests as in, “You must be the only two Boston Red Sox fans at this meeting.” That gives them a springboard for starting their own conversation.

Forgetting a name. First, do everything you can to prevent this. Scan the guest list to see who’s expected. That’ll put in your head names that you might otherwise forget.

When you’re introduced for the first time, make notes on the backs of people’s business cards and review them before any event where you might bump into such casual contacts, says Cindy Mardenfeld, an ardent networker and founder and president of Infinity Relations Inc., an event management and marketing company in Hauppauge.

Still, these lapses will happen. You can take one of two routes, the first being to fess up. But don’t overdo the mea culpa, saying how bad you are with names or how horrible you feel, says Andrea Nierenberg, a communications consultant in Manhattan and author of “Million Dollar Networking” (Capital Books, $19.95). Keep it simple, say, “Please tell me your name again,” and move on.

It’s also fine to fudge, and that means when you’re with people whose names you don’t recall, you can just say, “Have you two met? You really should know one another.” Invariably one or the other will pick up the cue and say who he or she is.

Name faux pas. Of course, you might think you know the person’s name, but get it wrong. If you end up introducing a Joan as a Jennifer, you can just say you are sorry, you have a good friend named Jennifer, and then move right on, Spencer says.

Along those lines, refrain from taking it upon yourself to abbreviate people’s names when you’re introducing them. Pachter says she does not appreciate having her first name shortened to Barb, and many others feel the same way.

Online introductions. More and more people are facilitating connections through online social-networking sites. In those cases where there are no “visual cues, body language, nonverbal communication,” you are wise to provide even more information, says Nelly Yusupova. She’s chapter leader of Webgrrls of New York City, a networking group, and is founder of DigitalWoman.com, a Web design and marketing company.

Yes, you can provide a link to the person’s bio page, but also include details of how you know the person and why you’re making the introduction. That added detail, she says, serves to “warm” the introduction.

Please send e-mail to pkitch en@newsday.com. And visit our blog at www.news day.com/workplace.

Now, Id like to introduce …

Introducing a speaker

At some point you may be called on to share information on speakers or panelists. In those cases:

Ask a speaker to send you a bio ahead of time.

If it’s the length of “War and Peace,” trim it to something reasonable, including details that will show the audience why this person is qualified to be speaking on the subject, says Barbara Pachter, a communications consultant in Cherry Hill, N.J.

Check out your revisions with the speaker, especially if he or she is a VIP.

But also print up copies of the original bio to distribute at the event, says Barry Miller, manager of alumni career programs and services at Pace University in Manhattan.

Practice reading the intro aloud and, where appropriate, add a brief comment of your own so it doesn’t sound like a laundry list (boring!) of job titles and awards.

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Abstract (Document Summary)

So it is worth the small effort to learn the right way. Making introductions is “one of those gracious niceties that grease the wheels in getting business done,” says Barbara Pachter, a communications consultant in Cherry Hill, N.J., and author of “New Rules @ Work: 79 Etiquette Tips, Tools, and Techniques to Get Ahead and Stay Ahead” (Prentice Hall, $13.95).

It’s great when that pecking order is clear-cut. But, there are plenty of times when it’s not. Pachter says that in all probability, you would give a client or potential client precedence over your boss. But that depends on your boss, doesn’t it? Is he or she an egomaniac in need of constant strokes? In that case you might say, “Boss, I would like you to meet Ms. Big Client.”

Online introductions. More and more people are facilitating connections through online social-networking sites. In those cases where there are no “visual cues, body language, nonverbal communication,” you are wise to provide even more information, says Nelly Yusupova. She’s chapter leader of Webgrrls of New York City, a networking group, and is founder of DigitalWoman.com, a Web design and marketing company.